What the....

I just saw a scary commercial for this on Noggin. I can't even explain how many different ways this scares me!

The day it all started

So today is J and my 12 year anniversary. Wow...sounds weird just saying that. We have been together since we were juniors in high school! We definitely have had our good and bad times, but I can honestly say it has made out relationship stronger. I'm lucky that I found my soulmate at 16 and I'm even luckier that as we have gotten older our relationship has matured right along with us. Lots of hugs and kisses to J tonight! :)

In other news, C, M, and I headed to a children's performance this morning in my neverending quest to find cheap things to occupy us. We had a good time, but it was definitely HOT. Not sure I would recommend going to an outdoor performance on a day like today, but luckily it was completely shaded so that helped some. The other upside was the girls napped like angels this afternoon!

We are busy getting ready for this weekend. Saturday we are heading to a birthday party in Richmond. C is thrilled to spend some time with her man. Sunday, C is starting swim lessons again. She took them as an infant but the instructor wasn't all that great and her constant ear infections kept us away. We're doing a parent/child class for 8 weeks with the hope I can enroll her in a child only class this fall. I'll definitely post some pictures of her underwater adventures.

These boots were made for walking...

So big news in our house..... M is walking!! She took 2 steps on Sunday, followed by 8 yesterday...and she's just going from there. I'm so excited and scared at the same time it's not even funny! My back is loving that I won't need to carry her as much soon, that's for sure! Not sure how I'm going to handle both girls running around, but we'll manage.

On top of this, I got a call from C's ballet teacher yesterday that Miss C may be in a local newspaper this week!! Apparently a reporter was there on Friday during the dress rehearsal and snapped a few pics of her. They have asked my permission for one of them to appear, but we won't know for sure until it comes out on Friday. I can't wait to see!!

Exciting week in our house so far!!!

Dancing Queen

Yesterday was C's big dance recital. It was called Flowers & Fairies and Miss C. was a Buttercup. She did ballet and tap in it beautifully. We had one minor breakdown causing her teacher to call me backstage (along with 2 other moms) because she wanted me to put on her tap shoes. After I arrived, lollipops were passed out, and a promise of a Barbie if she kept smiling, the show went on. Here are some pictures of her grooving her thing... This first one was prior to the start of her show...

Here are some ballet moves...

The whole thing was adorable. Even M loved the music and seeing big sis dancing. And yes, she got her Barbie afterwards. I know, bad mommy...LOL.

Now dance is over for the summer and I'm stuck wondering what the heck we are going to do with our time! C will start swim classes this Sunday, but other than that, we will have to find some things to do. We'll be heading to NJ a bunch of times, and I'm sure we will go down the shore, but that's about it. It's going to be a looooonnnnngggg summer!!

1 year and counting...

Today is a rough day in so many ways. First, in the normal mom way it's rough because both kids were up alternating hours all night. C was up with a nightmare, I think, and M was running a fever (again!). I swear they sit down before bedtime and map out which hour they are going to be up so I can get precisely to the point where I'm deep asleep in bliss and then *MOMMMMMYYYYY!!!* can be heard. I'm not sure there is enough caffeine in NoVA to keep me going today, but we will try. Going to take a shower and maybe try some new soap and see if that helps. (Oh yes...that is real...)

Secondly, this is a crazy busy day for us. Here's our schedule...

9:45 am -- Take my sister to work.

10:30 am -- Get M down for nap.

10: 30 -12 pm -- Clean like a mad woman in preparation for inlaws arrival.

12- 1 pm -- Get the kids fed and down for naps.

2:30 pm -- Babysitter arrives.

3:00 pm -- Meet J at title company to sign mortgage docs. (We're refinancing)

4:30 pm -- Get C ready and over to her dance recital dress rehearsal.

5 - 7:00 pm -- C's dress rehearsal.

In all of this what is not included is me taking a shower, getting laundry done, possibly taking M to the dr (if her fever returns), and my inlaws arriving. Not to mention what the heck we will do for dinner?!?

Finally, and this is the part I've been really dreading, today is the one year anniversary on my grandmother passing away. This time last year I was getting the kids packed up in the car to make my way to NJ, two weeks post c-section, to help with the arrangements. Here I thought I would do little things, but instead I took on buying the flowers, putting together pictures, and writing the euology?!? What was I thinking?? I have to say that by far this was the hardest thing I have ever done. My grandmother was like my mom so dealing with her death was intense. What made it worse was that I didn't make it up to say goodbye, and she never met M. I'm not sure I will ever get over that. So, today is definitely a day I would love to stay in bed and sleep through, but that's just not possible. Instead, I'll cut the crap as my grandmother used to say and plow through.

Here's a picture of us together. It's from my baby shower with C before the cancer started.

Grandma...I miss you more than words can say. I think of you all the time and know you are looking down on all of us. I love you.

--K

The Rules...

Tonight before putting C to bed, she was playing with her princess hopscotch. As she was putting it together, she quite seriously told me about the "rules". They were as follows...

1. You always have to be nice to me.
2. You always have to give me hugs and kisses.
3. You always have to make me lunch.
4. You always have to make my dinner and eat yours.
5. You always have to play nice things with me.

This whole interaction was quite amusing to me. I found it very hard to keep a straight face through the conversation. As you can guess, I've been enforcing some rules of my own these days. Seems like C is deciding hers are better...

Straight from the mouth of C...

C has quite a personality. I thought I would share a few conversations we had recently...

#1 -- Her new bed...

C...Mommy, I love my bed. When you grow smaller you can sleep with me.

Me...Thanks honey, but grown ups don't grow smaller, they keep getting bigger just like you get bigger.

C... Ok...but your legs can get smaller and then you will fit. :)
--------------------

#2 -- While eating her dinner last night

C... My taco stuff is all coming out!

J...It's ok, I'll help you put it back together.

C... Thanks Daddy. It's too hard for little kids to do this. That's why you go to work.

J & Me...(muffling laughter)
--------------------

#3 -- Neverending Questions (usually around bedtime)

C...Mommy, why do we have bottoms?

Me...So we have a place to sit.

C...But then why do we need chairs?

Me...So we have a comfortable place to sit.

C...But some bottoms have pillows on them so they would be comfy.

Me...(LOL) What do you mean?

C...Some bottoms are smushy like a pillow.

Me... (Really laughing now) Yes honey, I guess they are.

C....So then why do we need chairs??

I'm definitely at the million question stage with her. It's fun and annoying that's for sure. I'll share more memorable ones as they occur...

--K

Cake meet M...

Here are some pictures of M and her birthday cake. She ate the whole piece!!



Here she is showing off her bite...







Just wanted to share. I'll write a more noteworthy post later.
--K

M's Big Day!

Yesterday was M's first birthday! So, I thought I would relive it with a picture of her and how she was born...

I started having severe back pain and contractions at 11 pm on Thursday night. I tried everything to make it go away: drank water, walked, took a bath, etc. The only relief I felt was in the bath but about a half hour after I got out, it just got worse. I started timing my contractions, and they would get to be about 6 minutes apart, and then would space out to 10 minutes. I figured I would wait as long as I could, then call the dr.

By noon on Friday, I was miserable. I was still having back pain, and decided to call my doctor. I called them at 1:30 pm, and they told me to head to L&D. I got there around 3 pm. They immediately hooked me up to a monitor and said I wasn't contracting. My doctor then came to see me, and she turned off the monitor and put her hands on my belly. She then said, Oh yea...you are contracting! DUH!!! She then moved the monitor, and there they were...every 2-3 minutes. She asked me how long it was going on, and I told her since the night before. She left me for an hour, then came back to check me...and guess what. NO change!! I was still just 1cm, and my cervix was posterior. She told me her guess was the baby was too big for my pelvis, especially based on the back pain. After talking it over with her and J, we decided to go in for a c-section. They made a few quick calls, and I was scheduled for 6:30 pm that night.

The c-section went well. I have to say, I was nervous since I got so sick last time and felt so much pain...but this time was perfect. No vomiting, no pain. They did a great job at responding to me. At 7:17 pm, M screamed her way into the world. :) She was so stuck in me, it took two people pushing on my uterus to get her out!! The dr was relieved that I went for the c-section especially when they weighed her. M was 8lbs. 2ozs. and 19 inches long. This was at 38 weeks!!!

I love you M and can't believe how big you are!! I can't wait to see how much you grow and change over the next year.

-- K

Illness & other issues...

God, what a horrible few days we have been having! Both kids were sick with high fevers so of course, that means none of us have gotten a decent night's sleep. I've been running on empty for about 2 weeks now as one of the girls was up every night with something... I long for a nice nap or decent night's sleep. Here's hoping it's coming soon!!

Aside from the sickness in my house, I've finally ventured back to the doctor for myself. You see, I hurt my neck and back a while back and just went to get the CT scan results. Turns out I have 4 bulging discs in my neck and another teamed with arthritis in my lower back. What does this mean ladies and gentlemen? Well, I'm going to be going for some serious (read steriod epidural!!) injections into my neck and back, as well as some physical therapy for the next few months. Fun, right?!? On top of that my doctor gently reminded me that I need to try and lose a few pounds. As if it were that easy...oh wow, *poof* there goes 10 right now! Seriously though, I have been trying but my life doesn't help. I used to not eat at all when I was upset and now I have the opposite issue. Sugar, particularly contained in chocolate is my best friend. It's always there to give me a nice warm feeling when I'm feeling crappy and all it asks in return is that I keep eating it!! It's been working for me a little too long and I realize it. I also know I can't diet on my own, so I'm going to drag my flabby butt down to Weight Watchers next week and see what they can do for me (Hi, my name is Kelly and I'm a fat beast!)...

Finally, it's M's birthday this Saturday. It's hard to believe my little baby (ok at 22 lbs, she's not that little!!) is going to be 1. What's even more incredible to me is that she's also my last baby. She's growing up way too fast for me to deal with that. I need to get a fix on that baby smell one more time before she turns into a stinky toddler...lol! For about half a second when I see a small infant, particularly boys, I dream about having another. And then reality hits and makes me realize how much more insane my life would be if we had 3 kids...especially close in age!! So I'm done with kids, at least for now...

Ok, off to get some things done around here.
-K

Tag, you're it...

Here are the rules... Each person tagged gives 7 random facts about themselves. Those tagged need to write in their blogs the 7 facts, as well as the rules of the game. You need to tag seven others and list their names on your blog. You have to leave those you plan on tagging a note in their comments so they know that they have been tagged and to read your blog.

1. When I was younger I used to try and "erase" my freckles.

2. I've never travelled outside of the US or it's territories (not that I haven't wanted to!).

3. I'm the oldest on both sides of my family.

4. I used to want to be an environmental attorney when I grew up.

5. As much as I love being home with my kids, I miss working.

6. I broke my leg in a car accident when I was 3.

7. Being a mom has changed my perspective on life and has brought me closer to my own mother.

Thanks Leigh Ann for tagging me. :P I think I'll tag Mel...

Ramblin' Family...

This weekend we were on the road again. This time back to NJ to visit the family for Mother's Day. I swear we are living our lives on the road these days!!

Mother's day was ok. Got a cute card from the girls and J. I've decided that next year I'm not going to watch tv around this holiday. Can't take all the sappy commercials where the kids bring their mom's breakfast in bed and a diamond necklace. It definitely gets my hopes up that it will happen to me. Completely ridiculous, I know. Still, the illusion is there. I did get lots of hugs from the girls, which made my day...but in reality, I get those everyday. Not really a special day here, so I guess I'm just grateful that I get to feel loved everyday.

We've got a busy month ahead of us. M will be a year at the beginning of June, my cousin is graduating from high school, C has a dance recital, and our friend's son will be 3. Lots of ramblin' coming up!

Off to feed the masses...
K

Kid's Update

I figured we are way overdue for an update on the girls. So, here we go...

C...
- is fully potty trained. She's even staying dry overnight now and is very proud of herself!
- is able to write her name by herself as long as I tell her the letters. When she takes her time, it looks really good!! We still have some work to do, but I'm really proud of her!
- is still a singing and dancing fool. She's constantly making up her own songs, especially when playing. She's completely into her tap dancing and loves showing it off!
- enjoys meeting new friends when we go out. Although she tells me that she's being shy, she's really doing a great job of playing with other kids.

M...
- is starting to cruise around. She's been standing for a while, and definitely loves being a part of the action!
- has a total of 8 teeth now.
- is saying: mama, dada, baby, baba, ball, kaykay (for Caitlin), and kitty cat. New things are coming out everyday!
- will eat anything she can get her hands on. She loves quesadillas and bananas!! You can't walk by her with a banana and not give her some.

I think that's it for now. I'll try to post an update monthly!

K

One of these things....

So today was one of those days where I had a song going through my head. It was from the game that they used to play on Sesame Street..."One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn't belong. Can you tell which one is not like the other...before I get to the end of the song??"

I've recently crawled out of my funk from no longer working, being depressed about several things, and decided it was high time for me to find some things to do with the girls and make some mommy friends! Brave, you may say...crazy as well. I've been down here (VA) for almost 4 years now and only have a few "close" friends. Most of them work during the day (or have recently moved away ;) ) so it's hard to make time to get together with the kids, and even harder without. So...with my newfound stay at home status, I have decided to search out other moms like me. Young, with two kids, struggling to make it all work and keep their senses of humor with them along the way. Seems like I've moved to the wrong town for that! I have met a number of nice women recently...at playgroups and various other outings...but I can't seem to "click" with any of them. Perhaps it's because I didn't have a great career to discuss before I had kids...or my kids are different ages. It may be because I don't have the gorgeous houses that others have that seem to come equipped with housekeepers (god, I would kill for that!!). Seems to me like there is already this "club" that existed before and I'm now the outsider trying to get in. Many of the women live in the same neighborhoods, or worked at the same places, or used the same dr's. It definitely makes it hard for me to meet anyone. I have come to the realization that as much as I am looking for playmates for the girls...I'm looking for some friends for myself as well. I've never had a hard time making friends before, but now it seems like I need a special decoder ring to fit in (or is it a multi diamond platinum ring?? hmmm...maybe I can weasle one of those in...I know, I wish!!)

I think all of this makes me miss NJ even more. All of my family is up there and at least I know I can hang out with them on a Friday night and not feel like such a loser. I know, I know...keep trying...I'll find my place soon. I keep telling myself the same thing, but after almost 4 years, it's kind of hard to believe. For now, I'm giving the SAHM thing a whirl and joining as many story times and playdates as I can. Hopefully soon I'll be posting about how I found the right group...for all of us!

K

Today

Today is a memorable day. 5 years ago, I married my high school sweetheart, J. I can't believe how time has flown! It really doesn't seem like it has been that long...and yet here we are! On our honeymoon to St. John, we laid out some plans for our future anniversaries. For this one, we thought we would be on a trip to Hawaii. 10 years we were going to be back in St. John and renewing our vows. 15 years we would go to Italy. Man, how time (and children) changes everything!

J...Thank you for marrying me 5 years ago. On that day you made me the happiest woman ever. I know we have had our ups and downs over the past 5 years, but I think we are stronger for it. You continue to amaze me every day and make me realize how lucky I am. I know we aren't doing anything remotely like we imagined for our anniversary, but I am just happy to spend the night with you. I love you!!

Sadness and Grief

Last June was a difficult and joyous month. On the one hand, my angelic baby girl, M entered the world. Not even two weeks later, my grandmother who was more like a mother to me, passed away. All my family minus myself and my sister were there at her side when she went. I still have issues with the fact that I wasn't there, but at the same time I have realized that I could not have handled it. I still can't handle it. I've come to terms with it and am not crying all the time as I had been, but it definitely hurts.

It may seem strange that after so long I am writing this post, but I'm facing another crisis here. My grandfather is now in the hospital struggling to live. He had to have major brain surgery on Monday and is now on a ventilator. He's been sedated for the past few days and just today has been able to be off sedation. As difficult as it has been to see him sedated, I had a harder time seeing him today. He kept trying to talk to me and I couldn't understand him because he has the tube down his throat. I'm praying and hoping that he will be better but I'm not sure now. My head realizes that he's 87 years old, has lost his wife this year, and is probably ready to go. However, my heart can't deal with that. I cannot fathom losing both of them in a year. My grandfather was my father as my father was absent most of my life. This is like losing my parents. How do you deal with that? Where do you draw the line between what your head knows and what your heart feels??

I'm overcome with sadness and grief today. I'm sad for the situation and how my family is affected. I've effectively moved to NJ with the girls until my grandfather is either stable or... I can't even go that far. I'm grieving for my grandmother and beginning to grieve for my grandfather. Is this how you prepare for it? Will this make it hurt any less? I'm just overwhelmed right now and wish I could just sleep until everything is better. For tonight that is what I will do. Tomorrow, I will get up, have a nice breakfast with the girls and J and then head to the hospital. I will do my best to stay positive and smile at my grandfather. I know he needs happiness right now and that is what I will give him.

--K

And they're off...

So in the last week, M has hit a major milestone...she's crawling and pulling up. She went from slowly crawling last week to now flying. She's getting close to standing. It's all exciting and scares the crap out of me at the same time. I'm going to have two kids to chase around?!? And now the real fun begins...

This week is C's first full week without school. To start off, we had C's big party with her school friends on Sunday. She had a blast and was so sugared up by the end, that she was actually running around in circles. Today we tried to go to the zoo and realized that going when all the kids are on spring break, the cherry blossoms are in bloom, and a new museum is opening...not a good idea! Instead, we drove around DC for almost 3 hours. We wound up going to the farm park around the corner from our house instead. Oh well...we'll try again another day...

Off to bed...

--K

Gratitude

Today I'm feeling grateful for my life. I know that it's had some major issues...but it's turned out better than I could ever imagine. I am married to the love of my life for almost 5 years now. He's the most caring, and wonderful man I could have ever asked for. Together we have a beautiful family with the best two little girls anyone could ask for. I may gripe about C not listening to me, or M keeping me up all night, but I couldn't be luckier.

What is sparking this insightfulness you may ask? A friend of mine has a son that is only 6 months older than M. He has been sick for a while now, and has taken a turn for the worst. He is need of a transplant to survive. I cannot even begin to imagine how this family is handling all of this. I felt horrible that I could not offer any comforting words. How do you talk to someone in this situation? Especially when you have a daughter so close in age? I will continue to pray and hope for this boy, but I feel so helpless.

All this experience has done is made me realize how lucky I am. If nothing else, we all have our health. We may be at our wits end with C not listening, or could stand to have some more money in the bank, but we are so lucky. So tonight, I will hug C and M a little longer, and tell J how much he means to me. I truly am one lucky woman...

-- K

Birthdays...

Today is a big day in our family. It's C's 3rd and J's 29th birthdays! So here is a little post dedicated to them...

C...You are growing up so fast I can't stand it! You are a wonderful "big" girl and I love you so much! Happy birthday princess!

J...You are the love of my life. Thanks for sharing this crazy journey with me. Happy Birthday!

I'm lucky to have both of you in my life. I love you so much and hope you have a wonderful day. Here's to many more!

K

Need to vent

Ok, I need a venting post. Just something to get out my frustrations of today. So, here we go:

1. Why is it that when I accompany my daughter on a field trip at her school I wind up working more than the teachers? I had to belt kids in their seats, herd them in, keep them from running around, and finally (the real kicker), take 4 of them to the bathroom! Ugh...today I definitely felt like I should be getting a paycheck from C's school!

2. How is it that my family of 4 can create so much goddamn laundry?!? I swear I did all the kids clothes not 2 days ago and yet, here are more piles!! Where is my freaking laundry fairy??

3. I'm so tired of being in pain from my neck/shoulder! I hurt it almost 2 years ago and am going through some physical therapy for it. Yesterday I found out that I have some pinched nerves, possibly herniated disks, and most likely arthritis in my neck already! Umm...hello?? I'm not even 30 yet! If this is what I have to look forward to in getting older, count me out already!

4. I really want to know how some people have spotless houses with kids. I swear I could go on a cleaning binge for the next week and I still wouldn't be able to keep up with everything. Again...where is my freaking fairy??

5. Ok, so it's been a little over 9 months since I gave birth to M, and people are asking me when I'm going to start trying for a boy?!? Umm...riiiight... Don't even get me started on how I need to lose more weight first....

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
K