1 year and counting...

Today is a rough day in so many ways. First, in the normal mom way it's rough because both kids were up alternating hours all night. C was up with a nightmare, I think, and M was running a fever (again!). I swear they sit down before bedtime and map out which hour they are going to be up so I can get precisely to the point where I'm deep asleep in bliss and then *MOMMMMMYYYYY!!!* can be heard. I'm not sure there is enough caffeine in NoVA to keep me going today, but we will try. Going to take a shower and maybe try some new soap and see if that helps. (Oh yes...that is real...)

Secondly, this is a crazy busy day for us. Here's our schedule...

9:45 am -- Take my sister to work.

10:30 am -- Get M down for nap.

10: 30 -12 pm -- Clean like a mad woman in preparation for inlaws arrival.

12- 1 pm -- Get the kids fed and down for naps.

2:30 pm -- Babysitter arrives.

3:00 pm -- Meet J at title company to sign mortgage docs. (We're refinancing)

4:30 pm -- Get C ready and over to her dance recital dress rehearsal.

5 - 7:00 pm -- C's dress rehearsal.

In all of this what is not included is me taking a shower, getting laundry done, possibly taking M to the dr (if her fever returns), and my inlaws arriving. Not to mention what the heck we will do for dinner?!?

Finally, and this is the part I've been really dreading, today is the one year anniversary on my grandmother passing away. This time last year I was getting the kids packed up in the car to make my way to NJ, two weeks post c-section, to help with the arrangements. Here I thought I would do little things, but instead I took on buying the flowers, putting together pictures, and writing the euology?!? What was I thinking?? I have to say that by far this was the hardest thing I have ever done. My grandmother was like my mom so dealing with her death was intense. What made it worse was that I didn't make it up to say goodbye, and she never met M. I'm not sure I will ever get over that. So, today is definitely a day I would love to stay in bed and sleep through, but that's just not possible. Instead, I'll cut the crap as my grandmother used to say and plow through.

Here's a picture of us together. It's from my baby shower with C before the cancer started.

Grandma...I miss you more than words can say. I think of you all the time and know you are looking down on all of us. I love you.

--K